Thursday, June 5, 2008

"Wannabe MMA Guy"

Top 10 Signs You're a "Wannabe MMA Guy"

* You strip down to your boxer briefs and circle the living room pretending Bruce Buffer is calling out your ring name
* You wear weightlifting gloves and shadow box inbetween sets of 30 pound dumbell curls and 135 pound bench presses
* You can listen to (and laugh at) Chuck Norris jokes all day
* You feel wearing a "TapOut" t-shirt to any social occasion is perfectly appropriate
* You enjoy putting little children and your poor girlfriend/wife in submission holds
* You insist on the "bald with goatee" look no matter how unflattering the look is for you
* You make a point of loading up on RedBull and Rock Star before a night out with the boys
* You've memorized the lines of the Cobra Kai sensei from The Karate Kid
* You think a "BJ" is a martial art technique
* You kiai when you take a dump


Miha said...

Hello, I came across your Youtube SquatRX videos several weeks ago and they've helped me greatly in understanding some basic principles in squatting and related flexibility. Great material. You mentioned that for any questions one should email you. I couldn't find your email address anywhere so I'm using this opportunity to ask if it would be ok if I asked you some questions. I don't know if your email address is supposed to be secret or if it's published somewhere so here is mine: I know your schedule is tight but if you'd find some time, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for the great videos once again!

Peter Dell'Orto said...

I do two of those...and I am an MMA fighter. In my defense, they aren't TapOut shirts. ;)

Taikei Matsushita said...

"You enjoy putting little children and your poor girlfriend/wife in submission holds"

This may be a bit serious. In Japan, a house wife was actually killed, getting arm locked by her husband. Died of heart failure few days later.

Boris said...

All I can say about idiots like that is I feel very sorry for their victims.

People who actually do MMA are, by definition, not wannabes.

Thank you. Feel free to ask anything you'd like here or email me at

SF said...

There are just too many people in my gym that brags about how they can do choke holds, perform cool submission moves, TKO, so and so...

Oh, and most, actually all of them never enter into a real competition.

Franz Snideman said...

So true!!! Very funny!

Franklin B Herman, RKC said...

Very funny stuff .. bald with goatee look really hit home. I fess up to actually sporting that look four summers ago. I looked completely ridiculous and my S.O. was not afraid to often remind me of it. Fortunately I eventually listened to her and ditched the look after a few weeks .. she's still my S.O. but it was a close call.

Jason Struck , RKC said...

no tapout shirt for me.

i can't even wear a shirt when I kiai in the bathroom. confuses my fiancee to no end.

i also enjoy chuck norris jokes immensely;
"sure jesus can walk on water, but chuck can swim through land"

Peter Dell'Orto said...

Okay, true, I'm not a wannabe. But I do wear my gym shirts on virtually every occasion that doesn't actually specify "white shirt and tie."


Boris said...

I love the bald w. goatee look and sport it whenever I can.

My favorite Chuck joke is the one about blood donation.

Marblehead Johnson said...

Redbull and Tapout shirts are just how EVERYONE acts around here. That, and the "look, I can benchpress half my bodyweight! I ROCK!"