Thursday, January 8, 2009

Just As Soon As...

"Just as soon as I catch up with my work, then I'll relax," we say. Then I'll be there for you. Then I'll make it up to you. Then I'll show you how much I love you. Another time, another place, a different environment, a better situation, a more golden opportunity. Just as soon as...
Years ago, I lost a part of my extended family in an airline crash. When search teams found the five bodies in the wreckage, the two parents had their arms around the three little ones. The passengers who had survived the crash must have quickly realized that the smoke and flames sweeping through the aircraft gave them no chance to survive. Trapped, the parents held the little ones until the end. "Just as soon as..." got taken away.

- Robert K. Cooper (The Other 90%)


My family and I had an auto accident this weekend. While driving, I lost control of the car on black ice, flipping the car going 60 mph, the car landing in the ditch on the passenger side, my wife, son, and myself getting out of the car about 2 minutes before it burst into flames... Thankfully, and miraculously, my son was unharmed and my wife and I got by with bumps and bruises. In the moments before the crash, I had three, virtually simultaneous, thoughts; "Oh S***!", "This car is going to flip", and "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you". l almost had my "Just as soon as..." taken away.

Since writing two articles for Dan John's Get Up! newsletter, I've taken a few questions here and there on training time-management tips for new and expecting fathers. I've trained twice since the accident, but I think it's worth reminding ourselves that "...in the gym and out, it’s ALL quality time". Find time for your training, yes, and always remember what is most important and the legacy you want to leave after your "Just as soon as..." is taken away.

19 comments:

Boris T. said...

Sorry to hear about the crash. Glad to hear that all of you are okay.

And very true, we have a habit of postponing the things that really matter and not realizing how important they are until we're at risk of losing them.

Franz Snideman said...

Thank God you and your family are okay. Life is so fragile and precious!

You never know when your last breath will be......therefore we must live out each day as best as we can....

thanks for posting this!

Aaron Friday said...

Boris, are you serious? That is an intense accident that I hope to never experience. I am glad that there were no serious injuries, and that you're alive to comment about it. Probably never drive the same again, though, eh?

What is the meaning of life? Come close to losing it, or losing someone close to you, and then you'll know.

Today is all that counts. Be real. Be a friend. Be grateful.

Boris said...

Thanks everyone. I won't be driving the same for a while. Everything is tinted differently now and will be for some time. I'm thankful and humbled by the experience.

We bought a new car and hopefully that will help the economy. Impulse spending brought on by the sense of powerlessness might make us have to budget a lot harder later in 2009. ;)

Thanks for stopping in everyone. It means a lot to me.

Ezrie said...

Boris,

I am glad you and your family are okay. I read your blog everyday and I appreciate that you use your own precious time to give out valuable information at no cost.

Peter said...

Boris, glad to hear you and your family are safe after the crash.

Geoff Neupert said...

Thank GOD you and your family are ok, Boris.

All the best for 2009.

Geoff

Taikei Matsushita said...

I was surprised reading this, and sorry for the delayed response. But I would like to meet you and your family here or there in some way.

I'm relieved no one is harmed.

Boris said...

Erzie, Peter, Geoff, and Taikei,
Thank you everyone. We (meaning me) are feeling grateful for everyone and everything. It will reshape how I approach 2009 and I'm rethinking my resolutions.

Taikei,
We will probably be in Japan this summer for a few weeks and I'd really like you to meet them.

Ahmed S. Darwish said...

I'm a bit late in here, but I'm really sorry to hear that. Thanks God everyone is OK.

I've had a similar experience which made me taste a lot of things differently for about 2 weeks. After that, things returned to be normal again. And yes, I've fallen before in this "just as soon as.." trap, I think everyone did.

Thanks for sharing this kind of honest advice.

Aaron Friday said...

Impulse spending? Yeah, no kidding. Did you buy a tank?

Black ice is evil because you can't even see it. Even if you're extra careful, it can get you. I witnessed ditch visits at a mere 5mph in ND. In high school, I slid an entire block at less than 15mph and ended up bumping into another car.

It's a miracle we can even live in this environment.

Boris said...

Thanks Ahmed. I think we all have "just as soon as..." lists. The key, of course, is to eliminate the ones that don't matter and focus on the ones that do. I've cleaned a lot of things off the list since the accident.

Aaron,
I bought a Camry. Dependable and hopefully a little more stable. It's not a Lexus, but I'm used to cheaper, used cars - this is the first brand spankin' new car I've ever bought and I feel like I am dirtying it every time I get in it.

fawn said...

Wow! What a crazy story! Good to hear you all are alright. What a frightening experience! Flames and all! Again, glad everyone survived and no serious injuries.

Boris said...

Thanks Fawn. We're all doing well.

Andy and Judy said...

I haven't checked the blog for a little while, so I'm also late speaking up. Reading the blog and watching you on video makes me feel like I know you. If you or your family had been seriously hurt, I would have felt it as a personal loss. I'm so glad you're OK.

I have learned (at least partially) the "just as soon as..." lesson over the years. As a result, I've been a better dad to my last than I was to my first. Your son is blessed that you've learned it early.

Boris said...

Thanks Andy. You're a good man. It'd be nice to meet you some day.

Andy and Judy said...

Ah, no better than most, but thanks. I'll be in the midwest this Summer. Maybe we could meet for a cup of coffee or kettelbell instruction or something!

Aaron Friday said...

Boris, the first new car is always like that. 100% condition is impossible to maintain with any car you actually use, but 95% is probable over many years because you picked a really good one.

You also didn't lose anything by buying a new Toyota. The rule of "buy used cars" does not apply to basic Toyota and Honda models because they age slowly.

Franklin said...

OMG! I am so happy to hear everyone came out of that one okay. I totaled my car on black ice about 10 years ago and also walked away unharmed .. but scared to death!